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The Surprising Science of Dating

Why What We Think We Want Isn’t Always What We Choose We all have a checklist of what we want in an ideal partner—tall, dark, and handsome or perhaps smart, funny, and kind. But what if I told you those checklists often go right out the window when we actually meet someone in real life? It sounds crazy, but the person who ticks every box on paper isn’t necessarily the one who makes your heart skip a beat when you’re

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Honey-Do lists can add much overwhelm to a spouse, explains Miriam Zeitlin

The Honey-Do List: Sweet Words, Sour Demands

In every marriage, there are moments when we need to ask our spouse for help. Whether it’s taking out the garbage, fixing a leaky faucet, or helping with the kids, these requests are part of the daily dance of living together. But what happens when these requests turn into a never-ending list of demands? And does adding a sweet word like “honey” or “darling” really make it any better? Enter the infamous “Honey-do” list. Let’s take a look at how

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Untangling the Divorce Crisis

Rifky, like many young women, always envisioned her wedding day as the start of a blissful journey together with her chosson. The anticipation was tangible as she meticulously planned every detail, from her exquisite gown to the intricate floral arrangements. Her face beamed with happiness as she spoke about the life she would share with her future husband, whom she believed was her soulmate. Friends and family shared in her joy, eagerly awaiting the wedding of a seemingly ideal couple.

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Gifted and Proud: Embracing Your Individuality

In the Declaration of Independence, the famous line “all men are created equal” is often quoted. However, it’s important to understand that this statement doesn’t mean we are all identical. In fact, each one of us is born with unique talents, strengths, and a distinct path in life. The beauty lies in our individuality, and it’s crucial to embrace it wholeheartedly. Don’t try to follow someone else’s path or emulate their greatness. As the saying goes, “Be yourself because everyone

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Stop Waiting, Start Living: Finding Joy Today

Are you thinking what I’m thinking? Pesach is in the rearview mirror; what’s next on the agenda? If you are anything like me, you are already daydreaming about the next big thing. I constantly anticipate what is next, always ticking off the hours, days, weeks, and months for the inevitable changes. It is all a never-ending waiting game. Waiting to meet your perfect match, waiting for the wedding, waiting to have kids, waiting for the kids to be in school, waiting

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Will This Night Be Different?

As Pesach approaches, I’ve been mulling over what to share in my weekly blog post, particularly thinking about the singles in our community. Yom Tov can be tough for singles, caught between family gatherings filled with well-meaning but intrusive questions and Seders with friends where they might feel out of place. My aim was to offer a message of hope that acknowledges the unique challenges singles face and to connect their experiences with the broader story of our nation’s miraculous

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Home clean for Peach

Compare and Despair: The Subtle Art of Making Yourself Miserable

The Pesach Race It’s that time of the year again. As Pesach approaches, a festive spirit envelops the community, coupled with an unspoken competition of domestic prowess. You can’t help but notice how your neighbor has cleaned every nook and cranny of their house, organized each closet, and shopped for a spring wardrobe for the whole family while the stores still had what to sell. You know that their kitchen will be turned over with military precision because that is

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Miriam Zeitlin debunks the myth of dating stereotypes

The Mismatched Match: Dating Stereotypes Debunked

In the world of dating, singles often find themselves scrolling through a collection of stereotypes. From the “Nice Guy” to the “Cool Dude,” the “Intellectual” to the “Aidel Maidel,” our romantic lives seem to be scripted by an unseen playwright who loves to categorize. But what if I told you that these stereotypes can be the backdrop for an unpredictable love story? I had some fun and mixed and matched some unlikely pairings and discovered that sometimes the most unexpected

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Miriam Zeitlin explains what we can learn from the Elephant and Chimpanzee

Remember & Forget: Two-Steps to a Happy Marriage

Navigating the jungle of love and marriage can sometimes feel like an expedition. Despite the abundance of Jewish marriage books out there, sometimes its the simplest things that we can learn from. Here is an easy survival guide inspired by our pals in the animal kingdom: the elephant and the chimpanzee. The two step guide to a happy marriage. Now, you might wonder, “What on earth do these creatures have to do with my marriage?” Here is a great lesson

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Miriam Zeitlin examines the shidduch crisis

The Shidduch Crisis, A Deeper Look

Everywhere you turn, there’s talk of the shidduch crisis.  Numerous organizations help singles get married, there are different initiatives to get boys to start dating younger, and shadchanim are offered monetary compensation to get girls on dates. No doubt these practical solutions to the shidduch crisis are all beautiful and important work, but what is the real cost of it all? Miriam Zeitlin, New York-based shidduch dating coach and kallah teacher uncovers: What is the true shidduch crisis, and how

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Timely Talk: Queen Esther’s Secret

On Purim, we celebrate the salvation of the Jewish people from the wicked Hamas’s plot to annihilate them. This was a frightening time for the Jews, and Queen Esther knew it was up to her to try and save her people. There are so many great lessons we can learn from this story about unity and hope, but I want to focus on the lesson that Queen Esther teaches us, that there is a time for silence and a time

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Beyond Chitchat: Seven Levels of Connection

In the world of dating, many singles find it challenging to establish meaningful levels of connection. Despite the wealth of dating advice available, creating a deep and genuine bond with someone can often feel like an elusive goal. In this article I will address this common struggle by breaking down the seven levels of intimacy as outlined by Matthew Kelly. By understanding and applying these levels in a step-by-step manner, singles can navigate the complexities of dating and learn the

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Miriam Zeitlin explains common relationship misunderstandings

Understanding Each Other in Relationships: Lessons from Amelia Bedelia

Ah, Amelia Bedelia, the literal-minded housekeeper who never fails to misunderstand her employers’ instructions in the most comical ways. Remember when she was asked to “dress the chicken,” and she literally put clothes on it? Or when she was told to “draw the drapes,” she took out her sketchpad instead of closing the curtains? These humorous misunderstandings from my favorite childhood character are not just entertaining but also can teach us so many valuable lessons on the importance of communication

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Shalom Bayis – Understanding its Essence

Shalom Bayis is a concept that resonates deeply within the heart of the Jewish people, but its wisdom is universal, touching the core of families and couples across all cultures. The term “Shalom Bayis” literally translates to “peace in the home” and it represents much more than just the absence of conflict. It’s about creating an environment of love, respect, understanding, and tranquility. In the hustle and bustle of everyday life, stress and friction too often find their way into

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Miriam Zeitlin answers: What is a dating coach?

What is a Dating Coach and How Can They Help?

In the complex world of Shidduch dating, where things often don’t seem to match up and outcomes are hard to predict, having a shidduch dating coach has become more and more important. But what is a dating coach, and how do you decide if you should get one? Miriam Zeitlin answers these questions and more and utilizes her coaching experience to delve into the essence of dating coaching, its benefits, and its undeniable value. What is a Dating Coach? A

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Unique & Creative Budget-Friendly Gifts

Discover unique and creative budget-friendly gift ideas that prove the most meaningful tokens of affection aren’t measured by their price tag, but by the love and thoughtfulness behind them. This guide offers creative ways to express your love, ensurting your gestures make a lasting impact without straining your wallet.

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Miriam Zeitlin shares experienced shidduch advice

Actionable Shidduch Dating Advice

In the traditional world of shidduch dating, singles often face a complex web of expectations and norms. As a Shidduch dating coach, I want to offer a fresh perspective on Shidduch advice, emphasizing the importance of making Shidduch dating a personal experience while creating meaningful connections at the same time. I will explain ways to move beyond the confines of the rigid Shidduch system and its many unspoken rules, give tips on handling Shidduch rejection, and discuss some of the

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girl davening for a wedding

Segulos and Tefillah for a Shidduch: Understanding Their Value

When I first considered writing about shidduch segulos, I was hesitant. My reluctance stemmed from the concern that I did not want to inadvertently give the impression that there’s a guaranteed, one-size-fits-all solution to the complex and personal journey of finding a life partner. The notion that performing a particular act could ensure marriage, seemed not only misleading but potentially disheartening to those who are single. I did not want to give false hope. As a shidduch and relationship coach,

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Miriam Zeitlin describes how to navigate shidduchim with the involvement of parents

Navigating Shidduch Dating with Parental Involvement

Shidduch dating is a journey that significantly involves not just the dating individuals but also their families. In my Parent’s Guide to Shidduchim published on betweencarpools.com, I guided parents on how to navigate shidduchim with their children, offering insights into how they can support their children’s dating journey effectively and sensitively. This current guide shifts the focus towards singles, aiming to assist those who find it challenging to communicate with their parents in the context of shidduch dating. It addresses

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