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Compare and Despair: The Subtle Art of Making Yourself Miserable

The Pesach Race It’s that time of the year again. As Pesach approaches, a festive spirit envelops the community, coupled with an unspoken competition of domestic prowess. You can’t help but notice how your neighbor has cleaned every nook and cranny of their house, organized each closet, and shopped for a spring wardrobe for the whole family while the stores still had what to sell. You know that their kitchen will be turned over with military precision because that is

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Miriam Zeitlin debunks the myth of dating stereotypes

The Mismatched Match: Dating Stereotypes Debunked

In the world of dating, singles often find themselves scrolling through a collection of stereotypes. From the “Nice Guy” to the “Cool Dude,” the “Intellectual” to the “Aidel Maidel,” our romantic lives seem to be scripted by an unseen playwright who loves to categorize. But what if I told you that these stereotypes can be the backdrop for an unpredictable love story? I had some fun and mixed and matched some unlikely pairings and discovered that sometimes the most unexpected

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Miriam Zeitlin explains what we can learn from the Elephant and Chimpanzee

Remember & Forget: Two-Steps to a Happy Marriage

Navigating the jungle of love and marriage can sometimes feel like an expedition. Despite the abundance of Jewish marriage books out there, sometimes its the simplest things that we can learn from. Here is an easy survival guide inspired by our pals in the animal kingdom: the elephant and the chimpanzee. The two step guide to a happy marriage. Now, you might wonder, “What on earth do these creatures have to do with my marriage?” Here is a great lesson

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Miriam Zeitlin examines the shidduch crisis

The Shidduch Crisis, A Deeper Look

Everywhere you turn, there’s talk of the shidduch crisis.  Numerous organizations help singles get married, there are different initiatives to get boys to start dating younger, and shadchanim are offered monetary compensation to get girls on dates. No doubt these practical solutions to the shidduch crisis are all beautiful and important work, but what is the real cost of it all? Miriam Zeitlin, New York-based shidduch dating coach and kallah teacher uncovers: What is the true shidduch crisis, and how

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Timely Talk: Queen Esther’s Secret

On Purim, we celebrate the salvation of the Jewish people from the wicked Hamas’s plot to annihilate them. This was a frightening time for the Jews, and Queen Esther knew it was up to her to try and save her people. There are so many great lessons we can learn from this story about unity and hope, but I want to focus on the lesson that Queen Esther teaches us, that there is a time for silence and a time

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Beyond Chitchat: Seven Levels of Connection

In the world of dating, many singles find it challenging to establish meaningful levels of connection. Despite the wealth of dating advice available, creating a deep and genuine bond with someone can often feel like an elusive goal. In this article I will address this common struggle by breaking down the seven levels of intimacy as outlined by Matthew Kelly. By understanding and applying these levels in a step-by-step manner, singles can navigate the complexities of dating and learn the

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Miriam Zeitlin explains common relationship misunderstandings

Understanding Each Other in Relationships: Lessons from Amelia Bedelia

Ah, Amelia Bedelia, the literal-minded housekeeper who never fails to misunderstand her employers’ instructions in the most comical ways. Remember when she was asked to “dress the chicken,” and she literally put clothes on it? Or when she was told to “draw the drapes,” she took out her sketchpad instead of closing the curtains? These humorous misunderstandings from my favorite childhood character are not just entertaining but also can teach us so many valuable lessons on the importance of communication

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Shalom Bayis – Understanding its Essence

Shalom Bayis is a concept that resonates deeply within the heart of the Jewish people, but its wisdom is universal, touching the core of families and couples across all cultures. The term “Shalom Bayis” literally translates to “peace in the home” and it represents much more than just the absence of conflict. It’s about creating an environment of love, respect, understanding, and tranquility. In the hustle and bustle of everyday life, stress and friction too often find their way into

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Miriam Zeitlin answers: What is a dating coach?

What is a Dating Coach and How Can They Help?

In the complex world of Shidduch dating, where things often don’t seem to match up and outcomes are hard to predict, having a shidduch dating coach has become more and more important. But what is a dating coach, and how do you decide if you should get one? Miriam Zeitlin answers these questions and more and utilizes her coaching experience to delve into the essence of dating coaching, its benefits, and its undeniable value. What is a Dating Coach? A

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Unique & Creative Budget-Friendly Gifts

Discover unique and creative budget-friendly gift ideas that prove the most meaningful tokens of affection aren’t measured by their price tag, but by the love and thoughtfulness behind them. This guide offers creative ways to express your love, ensurting your gestures make a lasting impact without straining your wallet.

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Miriam Zeitlin shares experienced shidduch advice

Actionable Shidduch Dating Advice

In the traditional world of shidduch dating, singles often face a complex web of expectations and norms. As a Shidduch dating coach, I want to offer a fresh perspective on Shidduch advice, emphasizing the importance of making Shidduch dating a personal experience while creating meaningful connections at the same time. I will explain ways to move beyond the confines of the rigid Shidduch system and its many unspoken rules, give tips on handling Shidduch rejection, and discuss some of the

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girl davening for a wedding

Segulos and Tefillah for a Shidduch: Understanding Their Value

When I first considered writing about shidduch segulos, I was hesitant. My reluctance stemmed from the concern that I did not want to inadvertently give the impression that there’s a guaranteed, one-size-fits-all solution to the complex and personal journey of finding a life partner. The notion that performing a particular act could ensure marriage, seemed not only misleading but potentially disheartening to those who are single. I did not want to give false hope. As a shidduch and relationship coach,

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Miriam Zeitlin describes how to navigate shidduchim with the involvement of parents

Navigating Shidduch Dating with Parental Involvement

Shidduch dating is a journey that significantly involves not just the dating individuals but also their families. In my Parent’s Guide to Shidduchim published on betweencarpools.com, I guided parents on how to navigate shidduchim with their children, offering insights into how they can support their children’s dating journey effectively and sensitively. This current guide shifts the focus towards singles, aiming to assist those who find it challenging to communicate with their parents in the context of shidduch dating. It addresses

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Miriam Zeitlin explains the meaning and benefits of shomer negiah

What is Shomer Negiah?

Shomer Negiah, meaning “observing touch,” is a Jewish practice that restricts physical contact between members of the opposite gender who are not married or closely related. This concept may seem restrictive or outdated to some. It may even feel difficult in practice. However, there is scientific evidence that supports the benefits of practicing Shomer Negiah, particularly in the context of shidduch dating and relationship choices. Essentially, Shomer Negiah is the avoidance of intimate physical contact with anyone other than one’s

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Embracing the Best and Worst of Times in Shidduch Dating: A Paradigm Shift

Charles Dickens’s famous opening line in “A Tale of Two Cities” – “It was the best of times; it was the worst of times” – perfectly captures the rollercoaster of emotions often encountered in shidduch dating. This journey, steeped in hope and anxiety, joy and disappointment, can feel like living through the best and worst of times simultaneously. Shidduch dating isn’t just a path to marriage; it’s a voyage of self-discovery and personal growth. Here’s how a change in mindset

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Top Jewish Books on Marriage | Miriam Zeitlin

Top Jewish Marriage Books for a More Fulfilling Relationship

A happy and healthy marriage extends its positive influence beyond the relationship itself. It impacts all areas of our lives. Whether you’re newly engaged, in Shana Rishona, celebrating a golden anniversary, or anywhere in between, the journey of marriage requires constant nurturing, continual learning, and growth. In this post, expert marriage coach Miriam Zeitlin, shares some of the most insightful and impactful Jewish marriage books These books are carefully selected to offer a diverse range of perspectives, from improving communication

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Miriam Zeitlin provides the ideal outline for your shidduch resume

From Paper to Proposal: Practical Tips for Writing an Effective Shidduch Resume

Putting you best foot forward makes a world of a difference when it comes to shidduchim. With inter-state and even international matchmaking on the rise, having a quality shidduch resume that represents you well can bring you one step closer to meeting your match! However, before the shidduch resume became the norm, there was a time when the local matchmaker was the living encyclopedia of eligible singles. Picture them, notebook in hand, filled with notes like ‘great masmid, but doesn’t

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Pedaling Through Life’s Bumpy Roads

This week, I was reminded of a simple truth about life when I came across a quote by Albert Einstein. “Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance, you must keep moving.” It sounds easy, right? But what happens when the path gets rocky, or when a storm clouds the way forward? I faced such a storm this week. It came in the form of upsetting news regarding a close family member. This news wasn’t about me directly,

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Square Peg, Round Hole: Find your shape in the dating world.

Have you ever watched a child play with a shape-sorter toy? It’s a simple yet fascinating process where they learn to match different shapes with the corresponding holes. This seemingly straightforward activity offers insights into the world of dating and relationships. Let’s explore how trying to fit into a role that doesn’t truly match who we are is akin to forcing a square peg into a round hole in the realm of dating. In a child’s shape-sorter toy, each shape

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100 Folds, 100 Ways: Lessons From a Chef’s Hat

Have you ever heard about the fascinating connection between chef’s hats and relationships? It’s said that chef’s hats have 100 folds, each representing a unique way to whip up an egg. While this may be more of a delightful myth than a proven fact, it’s a charming way to think about relationships. Consider the chef’s hat for a moment. It’s not just a decorative accessory – those 100 folds symbolize versatility in the kitchen. Each fold represents a different egg

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