A happy and healthy marriage extends its positive influence beyond the relationship itself. It impacts all areas of our lives. Whether you’re newly engaged, in Shana Rishona, celebrating a golden anniversary, or anywhere in between, the journey of marriage requires constant nurturing, continual learning, and growth. In this post, expert marriage coach Miriam Zeitlin, shares some of the most insightful and impactful Jewish marriage books These books are carefully selected to offer a diverse range of perspectives, from improving communication to reigniting the spark, from deepening emotional connections to navigating challenges.
Lay the Foundations Correctly
A great marriage begins with dating properly. Here is a book I highly recommend if you are still in the dating stage or if you have children who are dating:
Shidduch Success
By Rabbi Dr. Yossi Ives
This book breaks down dating into four main sections, that cover all aspects of dating. Fundamental concepts, selection and decision making, understanding dating challenges, and practical matters.
Some of The Greatest Jewish Books on Marriage
If you are looking for general Jewish marriage books that cover a broad range of topics, the following list has been thoughtfully selected.
The Eternal Marriage Bond
By Chaim Press
This book is full of so many interesting stories, quotes from Chazal, and practical examples that show how to keep peace and happiness in marriage. I love the way it was written as it’s very clear and easy to follow. It emphasizes the importance of a harmonious, fulfilling, and spiritually enriched journey together, making it an essential read for those seeking to strengthen their marriage.
The Do’s and Don’ts of Staying Happily Married
By Rabbi Chaim A. Morgenstern
This book is great because it goes through so many of the topics and issues that many couples face. Some of those topics include communication, listening, recognizing and appreciating your spouse’s different nature, responsibilities of a successful spouse, and the do’s and don’ts of quarreling, among many other topics.
Secrets of a Connected Marriage
By Rebbetzin Debbie Greenblatt
“This is a magnificent work guaranteed to strengthen your marriage. Read every line.” Rabbi Yaakov Bender. I could not have put it better myself. A phenomenal book. While it is easy and enjoyable to read, it has so many great nuggets of information and advice on marriage.
Mastering Relationships
By Mordechai Weinberger
I find this book fascinating. It introduces the idea that understanding the four elements – fire, water, wind, and earth, which are linked to different personality traits, can help us understand ourselves and others better. Rabbi Mordechai Weinberger, a well-known therapist and speaker, uses interesting cases and humor to show how we can identify these traits in ourselves and others. The book is not just informative but also fun, with quizzes to help you figure out your own and others’ dominant traits. It’s an enjoyable read that can change your life for the better.
Best Jewish Marriage Books for Shana Rishona
Shana Rishona is such a magical time, but it can also have its share of challenges. Here are some books to help navigate this special year:
From Me to We
By Shifrah Devorah Witt
The reason I chose this book is because over 50 experienced women and some men share their first-year marriage stories, offering insights and advice, giving this book the benefit of so many different perspectives. It covers everything from managing expectations to effective communication, navigating conflicts, and adjusting to life as a married couple. It also touches on dealing with in-laws, pregnancy during the first year, and other challenges. The book is filled with personal anecdotes, humor, and practical tips, reflecting the hopes, fears, and dreams of every newlywed.
The First Year of Marriage
By Rabbi Abraham J. Twerski, ZT” L
Any book written by Rabbi Twerski is a masterpiece, and this one is no exception. This book addresses young couples, stressing the importance of understanding relationship dynamics and the impact of different backgrounds and expectations. He emphasizes open communication to navigate differences that arise in marriage. Drawing from his vast counseling experience, Twerski’s examples often strikingly resonate with readers. The First Year of Marriage by Twerski is valuable for engaged and newly married couples, as well as their parents. It aims to prevent stress and promote a loving, fulfilling marriage through awareness and solid advice.
Best Jewish Marriage Books to Enjoy as A Couple
Many couples enjoy learning and reading books together. This is a great way to spend quality time together while also working on building the necessary skills for a beautiful life together. Here are my recommendations for books couples can read together:
10 Really Dumb Mistakes that Very Smart Couples Make
By Rabbi Ben Tzion Shafier
This book is a straight-talking marriage book that is so much fun to read. If you want a Jewish book with advice for marriage that is humorous and easy to read but filled with so much great wisdom and tips, this is the book for you.
The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work
By John M. Gottman and Nan Silver
John Gottman is the country’s foremost relationship expert. He has written many books about relationships and marriage, but I like this one the best because of the straightforward principles that it teaches. This book will teach couples how to collaborate more effectively, resolve conflicts, and achieve a greater level of intimacy.
What You Need to Know about Marriage
By Rabbi Nachum Diamant
This book is extremely engaging and full of true stories and straightforward advice on how to build a healthy relationship. This book is particularly interesting because it talks about real people’s issues, the same ones many of us are going through, and gives tips on how to deal with them.
Top Jewish Marriage Books for Women
There are many books written just for women. Here are a couple that I love:
Marriage Secrets
By Leah Richeimer
This book is a must-read for all women! Wondering how to make your relationship with your husband joyous, harmonious, and fulfilling? How to create happy homes and strong marriages? How do you make your marriage AWESOME? In Marriage Secrets, you’ll discover how to communicate for results, fill your “appreciation bucket,” move past resentments, and connect deeply with your husband. Marriage Secrets is funny, insightful, and realistic.
The Simcha of Marriage
By Rochel Miller and Rebecca Allen
In the words of Aleeza Ben Shalom, professional dating coach and author: “Women are searching. This thorough, detailed, and organized book has the answers. It identifies a woman’s unique spiritual strengths and how she can tap into her feminine energy to build herself and her marriage. It covers the nuances that will help every woman tap into herself to actualize her potential and feel empowered in her relationships.”
For the Busy Couple
If you want to improve your marriage but are short on time, here is a book for you:
10 Minutes a Day to a Better Marriage
By Dr. Meir Wikler
I love this book because it breaks down the advice into bite-size pieces and takes just 10 minutes a day, focusing on better communication. Dr. Meir Wikler, a top family therapist, demonstrates how effective communication can resolve issues, from daily decisions to major family choices. Drawing from his vast counseling experience and real-life examples, Dr. Wikler’s guide is designed for every couple seeking a happier, more harmonious marriage.
Classic Jewish Books on Marriage
In the last few years, there has been an influx of great Jewish marriage books, but there are a few oldies but goodies:
Setting a Table for Two
By Avraham Peretz Friedman
This book is still as effective as when it was written in 1992 because it is based on insights from the Torah, and Torah is timeless. It provides clear, effective methods for enhancing relationships, furthering intimacy, and creating a nurturing environment for marriages to thrive. If you’re looking to enrich your connection, this book is a valuable resource.
You Owe It to Yourself
By Atara Malach
This book is outstanding. It offers a down-to-earth, no-nonsense approach to building a more meaningful marriage. It blends a deep understanding of human relationships with practical wisdom, providing a set of powerful tools beneficial for both newlyweds and long-married couples. I highly recommend this book.
Jewish Marriage Books on Intimacy
If you are looking to enhance your understanding of marital intimacy, here are two books to help.
The Joy of Intimacy
By Rabbi Manis Friedman
In our modern world, there’s a crisis of intimacy vital for our emotional and spiritual well-being. Despite being in committed relationships, many still feel a profound sense of loneliness. The Joy of Intimacy methodically debunks the myths surrounding intimacy that often divide couples, offering insights on overcoming these barriers to a healthy intimate relationship. The book guides you in maintaining your natural spontaneity, creating an intimate atmosphere, and transforming your bedroom into a sacred space. An excellent book for those who want to keep the spark alive.
Wellsprings of Tahara
By Rabbi Yitzchak and Miriam Goldberg
This book is a clear and easy-to-understand guide with the Hashkafa and Halachos of Taharas Hamishpacha. It is a great review for couples married under a year or married for twenty years. Be aware that some of the Halachos in this book, or any book for that matter, may differ from what you learned. Always double check with your Rav what you hold for a specific Halacha if you read something that is different than what you remember learning. As we know there are many ways to interpret the Torah.
Revive a Troubled Marriage
Need to revive a troubled marriage? Here is a great book to help with that:
Marriage 911
By Rabbi Simcha Feuerman and Chaya Feuerman
Is your marriage facing tough times? Do you feel like your relationship is spiraling downwards, heading towards despair or even divorce? Marriage 911 tackles seemingly hopeless marital situations with a 3-step method to fix your marriage problems. This book offers simple, effective tools grounded in Torah wisdom and psychological insights to turn troubled relationships around. This book is your chance to try proven strategies and experience the rewards of a healthy, joyful partnership with your spouse.
Couples in Crisis
By Moishe Herskowitz
I know many couples who were helped by the methods written about in this book. It introduces a twelve-step program designed to rejuvenate communication and dissolve negative sentiments in relationships and highlights complementary techniques to bolster communication and deepen mutual understanding.
Enjoy Jewish Marriage Books and The Personalized Approach
While these recommended books offer valuable insights and can significantly enhance your marriage, it’s important to remember that reading Jewish marriage books alone isn’t a substitute for professional guidance if you’re facing deeper challenges in your relationship. Each couple’s journey is unique, and sometimes, a personalized approach is necessary to navigate the complexities of a partnership. If you feel that your relationship could benefit from tailored advice and support, don’t hesitate to contact an experienced relationship coach. Contact Miriam Zeitlin and see how you can work together to explore, strengthen, and enrich your relationship.
