Decoding dating language can launch a full-blown overthinking spiral.
Ever read a text from a date and thought, “Wait… what does that really mean?”
You get a “Sounds good,” and suddenly you’re wondering if they’re excited… or just being polite.
They say, “We’ll talk soon,” and you’re left unsure — is that tomorrow, next week, or never?
One Word, Many Meanings
If you’ve been following me or reading my blogs, you already know how much I love words. I collect them like some people collect mugs they don’t actually drink from. I’ve written about three-letter words that carry surprising weight — like “AND”, the great connector that lets two things be true at once, and “YET”, the tiny spark of hope that says “not now, but maybe soon.”
But today’s word? It doesn’t inspire. It’s not deep. It’s not poetic.
It’s just… everywhere.
This overachieving three-letter word, RUN, has a staggering 645 meanings.
Let me show you just how out of control one word can get…and believe me, we’re only scratching the surface with this one.
Context is everything.
Think about it: When you run a fever, for example, those three letters have a very different meaning than when you run a bath to treat it, or when your bathwater subsequently runs over and drenches your cotton bath runner, forcing you to run out to the store and buy a new one. There, you run up a sizeable bill because besides a rug and some cold medicine, you also need some thread to fix the run in your stockings and some tissue for your runny nose and a carton of milk because you’ve run through your supply at home, and all this makes dread run through your soul because your value-club membership runs out at the end of the month and you’ve already run over your budget on last week’s grocery run when you ran over a nail in the parking lot and now your car won’t even run properly because whatever idiot runs that store apparently lets his staff run amok and you know you’re letting your inner monologue run on and on but, gosh — you’d do things differently if you ran the world. Maybe you should run for office.
I could keep going…
Like how your mascara might run if you start crying from frustration over your last date, or how you might run into your ex at the store (naturally), or how the whole experience makes you want to run away and join the circus, where at least when someone says the show must go on, there’s only one possible meaning.
OK, I think you get the point.
If a simple three-letter word can twist itself into 645 different meanings, is it any wonder we’re all lost in translation when it comes to dating?
Let’s play this out in real-life shidduch style:
Example 1: “I had a nice time.”
He texts: “I had a nice time.”
She thinks: Just nice? So, he’s not interested. Should I tell the shadchan I’m also out?
Cue screenshotting the message to three friends with the caption in all caps: “WHAT DO YOU THINK THIS MEANS???”
Reality: He’s interested. He’s just not a flowery texter. Also, his idea of enthusiasm is using proper punctuation.
Sound familiar?
Example 2: “She’s quiet.”
Shadchan says, “He said you were quiet.”
She spirals: Should I have asked more questions? Told more jokes? Was there too much awkward silence? Do I need to take a public speaking class?
Meanwhile, what he actually meant was: “She listened when I talked about my work, didn’t interrupt, seemed genuinely interested. I could actually relax around her.”
But now she’s questioning her entire personality.
Sound familiar?
Example 3: “I think we’re different.”
She says this thoughtfully on date 4, trying to open a deeper conversation about how they complement each other.
He hears: Here it comes. The “You’re great, but…” moment.
She’s thinking: Isn’t it good we’re not carbon copies? I’m more social, he’s more chill. I want to explore how this could actually work.
But now he’s nervously scanning the room for the waiter with the check, and she’s wondering why he suddenly looks like he’s being dumped.
The tragic part? They both actually like each other.
Sound familiar?
Example 4: “That sounds fun!”
He suggests mini golf for their next date.
She responds: “That sounds fun!”
He thinks: Perfect! She loves it! I’ll find the most elaborate course in the tri-state area.
She meant: Polite way of saying I’ll do it, but honestly, I was hoping for coffee and conversation.
Result: He plans a two-hour adventure, thinking she’s thrilled. She shows up dreading every minute of it.
Sound familiar?
Words are powerful — and loaded. When it comes to dating, we’re all amateur detectives trying to crack the code of what people really mean.
That’s why clarifying questions are everything.
Decoding Dating Language
- “When you say ‘different,’ do you mean that in a good way?”
- “When you said you had a nice time — nice as in ‘meh’ or nice as in ‘great but I’m not good with words’?”
- “When you said ‘that sounds fun’ — are you actually excited about this or just being polite?”
- “Help me understand what you mean by…”
Asking doesn’t make you insecure. It makes you smart.
Because when meanings aren’t clear, we tend to fill in the blanks. And let’s be honest — our imaginations don’t usually fill them in kindly. They go straight to the worst-case scenario every time.
So next time, before you let your thoughts run wild… pause, breathe, and ask.
Put It into Practice
This week, try these dating translation hacks:
- 🕵️♀️ Play detective (the good kind): Before assuming disaster, ask “What did you mean by…?” Your anxiety will thank you.
- 😊 Give your date the benefit of the doubt. Maybe “nice” really does mean “great” in Guy Speak.
- 🎭 Practice saying what you actually mean. “That sounds… interesting” isn’t fooling anyone anyway.
- 😂 When in doubt, laugh it off: “I’m terrible at reading between the lines — can you spell it out for me?”
Think of it as relationship debugging. Much better than letting assumptions run the show!
Do you need help decoding any dating language messages?
Reach out.
