You ever find yourself saying something you believe… but only halfway?
Like, “Everything happens in the right time.”
It’s the kind of thing we tell others—and even ourselves—when life throws a wrench in the plan. When a door closes. When the thing we were hoping for just… doesn’t happen. We say it to be comforting. Reassuring. And somewhere inside, we do believe it.
Kind of. Maybe. Sort of.
This past Sunday evening, there was supposed to be an event—an evening of learning, unity, and song. It was something I was genuinely looking forward to. While I wasn’t the main attraction, I had a speech prepared that I was excited to give over.
And then… it was postponed.
Until after Shavuos.
And yes, I know this is the right thing. I actually know it. The timing wasn’t ideal. It just wasn’t the moment for it. And yet—I’d be lying if I said there wasn’t a twinge of disappointment. A quiet pang. I’m sure I’m not alone in that. The dancers who practiced and the planners who invested so much—there’s probably a collective sigh all around.
What We Say vs. What We Really Feel
And it got me thinking… ( I usually get in trouble when I think, but this time I think it’s a good thought.)
We tell people who are dating:
“It’ll happen when it’s supposed to. Not a minute before.”
We whisper similar words to the woman waiting to get pregnant.
To the wife whose husband is still searching for a job.
To the single mother trying to rebuild her life.
To anyone stuck in the discomfort of waiting.
But when we say those words, are we just filling the silence? Or do we really believe them?
It’s easy to say when it’s someone else’s life, someone else’s delay.
But when it’s our plans being pushed off, when it’s our timeline getting rewritten without our permission—that’s when the words ask something more of us.
That’s when the belief gets tested.
That’s when we pause and ask:
“Do I trust that this too is for the best?”
You want to. You really want to believe it, to feel it, but sometimes it takes a minute for the heart to catch up to the mind.
Why It’s So Hard to Believe
The reason it’s so hard to genuinely believe things happen at the right time is that we crave certainty. We like knowing exactly what’s going to happen and exactly when. Not knowing makes us uncomfortable—deeply uncomfortable. And that’s why, even though we say we believe in Hashem’s timing, sometimes we struggle to truly feel it.
But acknowledging this struggle—admitting we’re human—is actually the first step toward reaching a place of real emunah and bitachon. We can’t get there by pretending it’s easy. We get there by recognizing how hard it can be and choosing to believe anyway. We choose to believe that waiting isn’t just something to get through. That it’s not a punishment or a detour, but it’s part of the plan—even if we don’t see why yet.
The event will be even more powerful after Shavuos because that’s exactly when it’s meant to happen.
The speech I wrote will be given exactly when I am supposed to.
And even if we never fully understand it, the ripple effects of Hashem’s timing matter—because it always does.
It’s Easier to Say Than to Live
You know – it’s funny how easy it is to reassure everyone else confidently:
“Don’t worry, it’ll happen when it’s supposed to!”
But the moment our own plans get shifted, suddenly we’re not so wise anymore. Suddenly, we’re impatient, annoyed, or just quietly sulking into our coffee. I guess that’s just part of being human. It’s always easier to give advice than it is to take it.
It’s okay to admit that waiting is hard, even when we know deep down it’s “for the best”. (Another platitude we maybe only half believe?)
The next time someone says to us, “It’ll happen when it’s meant to,” instead of rolling our eyes or cringing, we can just smile and say, “Yeah—I’m working on believing that.”
Real-Life Ways to Practice This Mindset
I want to clarify something – I’m not here to hand out fluffy inspiration. Life is too complicated for that. I only share with you things I need to hear.
You may be saying to yourself – this all sounds great but how so I live with this mindset—without faking it or forcing it—so here are a few simple, real ways to start:
Notice when you’re trying to rush the process – When you catch yourself pushing for things to happen faster (whether it’s dating, career, pregnancy, or anything else), pause and ask: What’s actually in my hands right now—and what isn’t?
Make space for mixed feelings – You can feel disappointed or frustrated and still believe this is where you’re meant to be. Both can be true at once.
Let go of trying to read into everything – Not every delay or twist has to be a “sign.” Sometimes it’s just not the right time yet, and that’s enough.
Set limits on overthinking – Give yourself a few minutes to think it through, vent, or feel whatever you’re feeling—and then gently move on with your day.
Talk to Hashem in your own words – No pressure to sound perfect. Just say, “This is hard. I don’t get it. But I’m trying to trust You.”
Remind yourself: You’re not behind – You’re not late. You’re not off track. Your timeline just doesn’t look like anyone else’s—and that’s okay.
Take breaks from comparing other people’s milestones to yours– If scrolling social media makes you feel like you’re falling behind, step away. Protect your headspace.
Keep showing up – To your life, your tefillos, your relationships, your responsibilities—even if things feel slow or stuck.
Be kind to yourself on the hard days – You won’t always feel strong. You won’t always feel belief. That doesn’t mean you’ve failed. Just keep going.
It’s a Calmer Way to Live
Living this way—with real emunah, deep in your bones —is not just a lofty spiritual goal. It’s actually the most peaceful way to live.
Because when you believe it’s all unfolding exactly as it should—you stop trying to control the timing. You stop replaying conversations or asking, “But what if I had…?”
You stop draining your energy on the when and start showing up for the now.
You don’t waste your days worrying about when the answer will come.
You live fully in the moment you’re in.
And that’s a much better way to live.
