If you had to describe last week as a food, what would it be? A warm, comforting bowl of soup? A half-burnt piece of toast because things didn’t go as planned? A five-course meal because everything somehow aligned perfectly?
For me, last week felt like a cup of coffee that I forgot about and had to reheat three times before finally giving up and drinking it lukewarm. (This happens daily to me, just FYI, but don’t tell anyone.)
Forgetting about the coffee? That was me being pulled in a million directions and feeling overwhelmed. (Yes – it happens to the best of us.)
Reheating it multiple times? That was me trying to stay on top of things but constantly getting distracted or interrupted.
Finally giving up and drinking it lukewarm? That was me accepting that the week didn’t go as planned but rolling with it anyway.
Here’s the good news: a new week means a new chance to reset, refocus, and maybe—just maybe—drink my coffee while it’s still hot.
And as if I’m not already running on too little sleep, daylight savings time goes ahead and steals another hour—one I can’t exactly afford to lose. One night, I go to bed at a normal time. The next morning, the world has taken an hour from me. Just like that, it’s gone—poof—into the daylight savings void. And even though we all know it’s coming, it still messes with us. I wake up groggy, my schedule feels off, and my body refuses to accept this new reality.
It’s funny how an hour can feel like such a big deal. But isn’t that how time works in general? Some hours fly by before you even notice, while others drag so painfully you start questioning the laws of physics.
Nowhere is this more obvious than in dating.
Some dates feel effortless—you glance at your watch, and suddenly, it’s been three hours. Other dates? You’re convinced time has slowed to a crawl, and you start wondering if the restaurant clock is broken. You may think otherwise, but time isn’t the problem. How you experience time is up to you.
Time Moves, But Are You Actually Living?
Think about the last time you were so into something that time just disappeared. Maybe you were talking with a close friend, working on a project you loved, or just completely absorbed in a really good book. In those moments, you weren’t thinking about what’s next or what’s missing—you were just there.
Now, think about the opposite. Sitting through a never-ending work meeting. Standing in line at the DMV. Waiting for your food while starving at a slow restaurant. In those moments, time seems to have stopped moving—almost as if to taunt you.
Let’s be honest. Some dates feel exactly like that.
A lot of people treat dating as something to “get through.” Let’s just suffer through this until I finally meet the right person. But if you only care about getting to the finish line, you miss out on the actual experience. The conversations. The moments. The little things that make life interesting.
You don’t control when you’ll meet the right person. But you do control whether you’re actually present for the journey—or just mentally fast-forwarding through it.
How to Make the Most of Every Date—Even If They’re Not the One
Not every date is going to be great. Some will be fine. Some will be a complete misfire. But since you’ve already committed an hour or two, you may as well make it worth your time.
Even if you know within the first ten minutes that this isn’t your person, you still have a choice: check out, count the minutes, and label the night a waste—or stay engaged, make the conversation interesting, and walk away having had a decent experience.
Being present isn’t just about finding the right person; it’s about learning how to connect, how to listen, and how to enjoy a conversation for what it is—not just where it might lead. And the more you practice that, the better prepared you’ll be when the right person does come along.
So, how do you make sure your time feels like an investment instead of a waiting game? Here are a few ways to shift your mindset and take advantage of the moment—regardless of whether there’s another date.
Shift Into Curiosity
A little curiosity can go a long way. Instead of going through the same boring small talk, ask something that actually sparks conversation. What’s the weirdest job they’ve ever had? What’s something they’ve always wanted to try but never have? When was the last time they got really lost? If you are genuinely interested, even a date with no chemistry can still be engaging.
Find a Connection Point
Even if you know you won’t marry this person, you probably have something in common. Maybe you both love road trips, grew up in the same type of community, or have strong opinions about which bakery makes the best challah. Lean into that. Worst case? You have a decent conversation. Best case? You leave knowing a little more about the world than you did before.
Let the Dialogue Unfold
Great conversations aren’t scripted. If a topic sparks energy, go with it instead of worrying about covering all the standard “Where do you see yourself in five years?” questions. Some of the best exchanges come from letting things take a natural turn.
Decide How Time Feels
You can’t predict whether a date is fun or awkward, but you do shape how you experience it. If you check out and disengage, time will crawl. But if you stay present, even an evening with someone you’ll never see again can still be enjoyable.
Dating isn’t just about finding “the one.” It’s about learning how to connect with different people, figuring out what matters to you, and getting better at conversation. When you approach it that way, the whole process becomes way less exhausting.
Every Moment Counts
So much of life is spent looking ahead to the next milestone. If you’re single, you may be waiting to get married. If you’re married, maybe you’re longing for children. If you’re in school, you’re counting down the days until graduation. If you’re at work, you’re eyeing that next promotion. It’s natural to want things to change, to hope for the next step, to dream about what’s coming.
But if you spend all your time waiting for the future, you lose out on the life that’s happening right now.
It doesn’t mean you can’t hope, pray, and work toward the next stage—it just means you don’t have to put your happiness on hold until you get there. You can want to be married while still making the most of being single. You can wish for kids while still appreciating your current life. You can aim for career success without feeling like today is just something to get through.
Dating, like life, isn’t just about rushing to the next stage. It’s about being fully present in the one you’re in. When you stop waiting for the future to make you happy and start embracing where you are right now, time no longer feels like something to get through—it becomes something to experience, appreciate, and enjoy.
