Dating… You’d think it’s the only thing happening in your life, right? It’s all anyone seems to ask you about—”How’s dating going? Any new updates? Met anyone recently?” Meanwhile, you’re juggling a hundred other things because, let’s be honest, life is so much more than just dating, especially around Succos. This time of year, it feels like all the decisions are piling up at once, and not one of them involves “Have you met someone yet?”
With Succos fast approaching, the decisions start coming in hot. The most pressing one? Where to spend Yom Tov. Do you stay home, squeezed into the cozy (read: tiny) family sukkah where the women end up exiled to the kitchen? Or maybe head to a friend’s place where you’ll be the token single, surrounded by couples and their cute little ones? Then again, booking a last-minute ticket to Puerto Rico and enjoying Chabad hospitality with a side of sunshine sounds very tempting…
But the choices don’t stop there. Once you’ve settled on a location, there’s Chol Hamoed to consider. If you’re at home, do you play the “best aunt ever” card and take your nieces and nephews to Coney Island for some cotton candy and chaos? Or do you opt for American Dream mall with friends, knowing you’ll likely bump into half of Brooklyn, Monsey, and Lakewood while waiting in line for an overpriced sweater? And if you did end up in Puerto Rico, congrats! Your toughest decision is which book to read while sipping a pina colada.
And don’t even get me started on the third day of Yom Tov outfit decision. Should you go for that outfit that says, “I’m stylish, but also not trying too hard”? Or just stick with the “I’m effortlessly put together” look that’s been your go-to forever, because who has the mental energy for anything else at this point?
Then, of course, there’s Simchas Torah. Do you just go to your local shul, trying not to feel too envious as your married friends parade their adorable children around on Totty’s shoulders? Or do you shul-hop, in hopes of spotting some new singles while pretending not to notice that every shul is basically the same scene—lots of kids and you, doing your best to keep it together?
Let’s not forget the smaller (but equally important) decisions. What do you bring to your Yom Tov hosts? Is a bottle of wine enough, or do you need to step it up with some fancy dessert that no one actually eats but looks fabulous on the table? And which dish will make the best impression without making it seem like you’re overcompensating? Important questions, my friends.
Yes, Succos is filled with its own set of “very important” decisions, but once Yom Tov wraps up, real life comes rushing back, and those choices? They can feel even bigger. Like that hobby you’ve been dreaming of turning into a side hustle—are you ready to take the plunge? Or maybe it’s finally time for that long-awaited trip to Europe. Or perhaps the wildest thought of all: after years of daydreaming about it, do you finally make Aliyah? These are the decisions that don’t just disappear after Yom Tov.
Life doesn’t slow down just because the Sukkah and the lulav and esrog are packed away. It’s a sea of choices, big and small, and sometimes you just need a sounding board to make sense of it all.
Yes, life is a whirlwind of decisions, and while everyone assumes because you are still single the only thing on your mind is dating, the truth is, there’s a whole ocean of choices swirling around. Dating is just one drop in that sea. Talking things over with a coach, like Miriam Zeitlin (shameless plug), might just be the clarity you need—whether it’s about dating or any of the 500 other life decisions waiting to be made.
So, here’s to all your Succos and life decisions decisions, big and small. Whether you’re cozying up in the family sukkah or sunbathing in Puerto Rico, may they all lead you to exactly where you need to be. And if you’re still deciding… well, you know who to call. 😉
