Recently, I did something that might sound a bit wild to some but is pretty much par for the course for me. I woke up one morning and told my husband I was driving down to Miami for a few weeks. Being the crazy person that I am, he believed me. 🤣 (I will share my why in a future blog.) After packing the car with everything I thought I would need for my trip, I began the long drive.
Picture this: It’s 3 AM and I’m somewhere in the middle of Georgia. My eyes are heavy, and I am questioning the impulsive decision that led me to embark on a non-stop 20-hour drive from New York to Miami. What kept me awake and going wasn’t the third cup of gas station coffee or binge-listening to the Meaningful People and Living L’Chaim podcasts. Nor was it the crystal-clear vision of my destination. It was knowing my why. It wasn’t enough for me to know that I was headed toward the swaying palm trees and clear blue waters of Miami. I needed to keep reminding myself why I was headed there.
🌴🚗💙
Now, you might be wondering, “What on earth does this have to do with dating?” In the world of dating, the journey can often seem long and winding. If you’re like most daters, you’ve probably asked yourself: Why am I even doing this? Why do I want to get married? These are not just idle questions; they’re the fuel that keeps you going, the headlights that guide you through the fog. It is not enough to know that your destination is marriage. You need to know why you are headed there.
The Importance of Knowing Your ‘Why’:
Relationship GPS: Just like I had Miami plugged into my GPS, knowing why you’re dating or seeking marriage is your emotional navigation system. Without it, you might find yourself taking unnecessary detours or, worse, ending up in a relationship dead end.
Fuels your journey: When the road gets tough (and believe me, in both road trips and relationships, it will), your ‘why’ is the high-octane fuel that keeps you going. It’s the difference between giving up at the first rest stop or pushing through to reach your dream destination.
Filters out the background noise: Just as I tuned out the billboards advertising the many attractions along the way, knowing your ‘why’ helps you filter out distractions and stay focused on what truly matters in a partner.
It’s your compass, not someone else’s: Your parents might want grandkids, and your friends and siblings have their reasons, but your ‘why’ should be uniquely yours. Don’t let societal expectations be the backseat driver of your life.
Makes the journey worthwhile: Trust me, those 20 hours felt a lot shorter because I knew exactly why I was putting myself through it. Similarly, the ups and downs of dating become part of an exciting journey when you know where you’re headed.
How do you find your why?
Here are a few questions to ponder:
• What are your core values, and how do they align with your desire to get married?
• What kind of future do you envision?
• What personal growth or experiences are you hoping to gain from a marriage?
Knowing Your Destination Isn’t Enough
Knowing your destination is only half the battle; knowing why you’re headed there is what truly matters. Just like my 20-hour drive to Miami, it’s not enough to simply set a course for marriage. You need to understand why you’re on this journey to keep yourself motivated and on track.
Without a clear why, you might find yourself exhausted and questioning your decisions. This can lead to burnout, bad choices, and even the temptation to give up altogether. Knowing your why transforms the journey from a series of exhausting dates into a meaningful adventure with a purpose.
Reflect on Your Why
Before you embark on another date, take a moment to reflect on your why. It will keep you grounded, focused, and ready to embrace the ups and downs of the journey. And remember, the journey toward marriage is not just about reaching the destination. It’s about understanding why you’re traveling this path and finding joy in every step along the way.
If you need guidance figuring out your why or are feeling weary from the journey, reach out. Sometimes, a little support can make the difference in keeping your eyes on the prize and your heart on the right path.
