A few weeks ago, I shared the story of my marathon 20-hour drive to Miami, where I talked about how knowing my “why” was the driving force that kept me going. So, what was my big “why”? It was burnout. Yep, good old burnout—the kind that sneaks up on you when you’re juggling too many things and think you’re some kind of superhero. I had taken on too much at once, pushing myself to the edge of exhaustion and overwhelm. As I confronted my own burnout, I couldn’t help but think about my shidduch dating clients who are navigating the emotional rollercoaster of dating. It made me empathize with them in a whole new way, understanding the unique kind of burnout that comes from the ups and downs of trying to find that meaningful connection.
Recognizing the Signs of Burnout: My Personal Experience
We’ve all been there—taking on just a little too much, pushing ourselves a bit too far, and then suddenly finding ourselves completely drained, staring at a to-do list that looks like it’s laughing at us. That was me. I was juggling multiple projects I loved and was passionate about, but somewhere along the way, I forgot something crucial: to take a break. (Spoiler alert: Not a great idea.)
I’ve always been someone who’s determined—sometimes too determined. I kept adding more to my plate, thinking I could handle it all. But determination has its limits, and eventually, I hit mine. My energy was depleted, my creativity had vanished, and I realized I’d been running on fumes for far too long. That’s when it hit me: I couldn’t keep going like this without taking the time to recharge. Apparently, even superheroes need a nap.
Dating Burnout: What It Is and How to Avoid It
Looking back at my own experience with burnout, I realized that it wasn’t just about taking on too much work. It was a deeper issue of not recognizing when I needed to slow down, set boundaries, and take care of myself. As I reflected on this, it made me think about the emotional toll that dating can take. Dating burnout is real and can sneak up on you if you’re not careful. So, how do you prevent it? Here are some tips to help keep the spark alive while navigating the dating world:
Pace Yourself in Dating
Just like in a marathon, pacing is key. You don’t have to say yes to every date or attend every singles event. Trust me, no one gets a medal for most dates in a week. Give yourself permission to slow down and take breaks between dates. Quality over quantity can make a big difference in keeping your energy and enthusiasm up.
Set Boundaries to Prevent Burnout
Know your limits and stick to them. It’s easy to get caught up in the pressure of constantly being available or always putting your best foot forward (or, you know, both feet). But remember, it’s okay to say no or to take a night off. Protecting your time and energy is crucial to avoiding burnout.
Mix Up Your Routine
If dating starts feeling like a chore, it might be time to shake things up. Try something new—a different type of date, a new hobby, or even taking a short break from dating altogether. A change in routine can refresh your perspective and reignite your enthusiasm. Who knows, maybe you’ll discover a hidden talent for pottery or rock climbing.
Lean on Your Support System
Dating can be emotionally draining, so don’t go it alone. Lean on friends, family, or a trusted mentor for support and encouragement. Sometimes, just talking things out can give you the boost you need to keep going. Plus, your friends are probably dying to hear your latest dating stories anyway.
Focus on Self-Care
Don’t forget to take care of yourself amidst all the dating. Make time for activities that recharge you—whether it’s a favorite hobby, exercise, or just relaxing with a good book. The more you nurture yourself, the more energy you’ll have to bring to your dating life. And yes, curling up on the couch with the latest magazine and a tub of ice cream totally count as self-care.
Keep Perspective
Remember that dating is just one part of your life, not the whole picture. Keep things in perspective by balancing your dating life with other passions and pursuits. This will help you stay grounded and prevent dating from becoming overwhelming. Because let’s be honest, life is about more than just browsing through shidduch profiles.
Finding Balance: Empathy for the Dating Journey
Looking back, my own experience with burnout has given me a deeper understanding of what many of my clients go through. I see how easy it is to get caught up in the emotional rollercoaster of dating and how quickly that can lead to burnout. It’s not just about finding the right person—it’s about taking care of yourself along the way. I want you to know that it’s okay to pace yourself, set boundaries, and take breaks when you need them. You’re not alone in this journey, and every day is a new opportunity to find balance, regain your energy, and approach dating with a fresh perspective.
If you’re dating and feeling exhausted but aren’t sure why, reach out to me – Miriam Zeitlin—and we can shmooze it over together. Maybe it’s the latest dating fiasco, or maybe it’s just the cumulative effect of too many awkward first dates. Either way, let’s figure it out so you can get back to enjoying the ride.
